This week’s timely college admissions question is from the parent of a rising senior: “Should I help my kid with their college applications?”
I love this question. As a parent of 3 kids, all of whom have successfully applied to college, as well as a former Ivy League Admissions officer and now an admissions consultant, I know how hard it can be to find the right balance. It’s tough to know when and how to help your kid with their college applications without taking over the process or making their applications worse. (And it’s also tough to figure out if your student is floundering, and needs more support.) Here are some guiding principles and suggestions that can help.
- Have a plan and organize everything.
This might seem super obvious, but I have seen many well-meaning families kind of wing it. It’s easy to assume that everything will just get done, but this philosophy causes undue stress and often leads to missed opportunities. At the extreme end, you might miss an application deadline. More commonly, students fail to sign up for visits and interviews before spaces fill, don’t submit transcript requests on time, approach their preferred recommender too late, or simply rush their materials, ultimately submitting weaker applications.
I have a customized software system that I use with my clients, that organizes all of our work. I import deadlines and essays, and parents can monitor progress. If you are looking for a similar system, reach out to me. (There are also versions available online.) Whatever you decide, now is the time to get organized.
- Designate parent and student roles.
I highly recommend codifying a plan of action that spells out who is responsible for what. For instance, parents sometimes find that it’s easier for them to send test scores to schools (if you are submitting), and that it can also make the most sense for them to schedule interviews and school visits. Parents will need to do certain things, like authorizing the release of student records (through the high school), and signing a FERPA release in the common application form.
Parents should NOT be filling out the common app, or writing any essays. It’s truly critical for parents to avoid getting overly hands-on with the essays. Admissions officers do not want to hear your voice, they are looking for age-appropriate insight from your student. It does not go well if colleges suspect that your student didn’t write the essay. It’s great if you want to help your kids brainstorm, and to think about supporting details that they might have forgotten. Parents can also add value in the honors and activities section of the common application by helping students make sure that they are including everything. (I keep track of all my clients’ activities and awards, starting in 9th grade.)
- Stick to a calendar and start earlier than you think you need to.
After you create this plan, calendar out when everything will get done, and stick to it. I firmly believe in the power of completing your applications over the summer. If that seems too extreme for you (trust me it’s worth it!), at the very least, plan to finish everything, including regular decision and ED2 applications, by the end of October.
- Understand your school counselor’s role.
Don’t assume that your student’s high school counselor will be monitoring your kid’s progress, reviewing or proofreading their essays or application forms, suggesting target schools, or even making sure that everything gets done and submitted. Although it’s possible that your school counselor will have the expertise and bandwidth to help in some of these ways, it’s uncommon for them to do all of it. (Even at private schools.) I suggest meeting with the school counselor early in senior year, so that you aren’t taken by surprise.
- Consider hiring help.
As an admissions consultant, I have successfully navigated the college application process hundreds of times. (And seen it from the other side as an admissions officer, thousands of times.) I can simplify, streamline and optimize your experience, and keep you from making costly mistakes. Personally, I also strive to make sure that this is a positive experience for everyone. (Part of that can be serving as a buffer – I can remind your student to send me the next draft, so you don’t have to.)
Ideally, your child only applies to college once. Being organized, planning ahead and establishing clear roles and deadlines can help guarantee that you get the results you want.
Do you have questions about the college admissions process? Reach out to set up a free consultation, or to see your question answered in a future column.
